My day was absolutely brilliant!

While still in bed my son came into my room and promptly farted on my leg while squealing in happiness. He and his sister then took turns playing their favorite game of “let’s hit dad in the nuts” before he turns into a grump and throws us out of his bed.

Then My wife brought me coffee in bed!

This is a a big deal. Seriously! I have asked this as a joke for the past several years with full knowledge that it was impossible. We all play our roles and my wife is not a morning person. I am. I think that 8:00am is the middle of the morning, not the start. 8:00am to my wife still means, touch me and you will get hurt.

Then, I suggested that instead of my wife cooking me breakfast that we get egg McMuffins on the way to my mom and dad’s house to pay homage to the old wise one. (My wife is a great cook by the way) However, as life would have it, we were a few minutes late for breakfast. But because I am so easy to get along with, I had two big macs for breakfast. Hey! It’s my day, I can eat whatever I want.

Once we reached my parent’s house, we had several hours to just hang out on their back porch, talking and having some adult beverages. Then, my sister’s kids arrived which demanded that I set up the SUPER slip and slide. We used a couple of old printing press blankets as a launch point, followed by 2 sheets of plastic sheeting, achieving a total length of about 50 feet. Then I sacrificed my body to ensure that it was safe for the kids. After playing on the slide for about an hour(it really took that long for the safety check), I had another snack.

Time to head back to Columbus. We arrived back home safe and sound. Finished off the night with a glass… or two of wine. Come on your jealous, I can feel it.

Oh, by the way, I got the SWEETEST gifts and cards but I didn’t want to make you cry. : )

A couple of weeks ago I woke in the early morning hours from a dream. Immediately upon waking I had this feeling I should share my subconscious thoughts with my family and friends for its entertainment value alone. Since then, I have yet until now, taken the time to write down my dream. Today, I share my funny little mind.

The dream started with a few friends walking ahead of my cousin and I in a field. Brandon and I making small talk, looked back towards the woods that we had recently exited only to see a moose approaching. Now, if it was a normal moose, it wouldn’t be very exciting, but the moose in question was a flying moose. Complete with flexible antlers that waved back and forth as if motioning to his friends to join in a chant of joy. This apparently was enough to carry him swiftly across the field fairly high above Brandon’s and my head.

We turned to see where this flying moose was off to. Heading straight towards our group of friends, Brandon and I still showed nor felt any sign of concern. After all, it was a flying moose, how dangerous could it be?

The only two people in the group that I recognized were my niece Kate and my wife. Several other adults and children were in the group but their identity was unknown to me.

The moose descended onto to the group ahead of us, picking my wife from the herd of humanity. The moose started aggressively dragging my wife’s leather coat from her body. At this point, my cousin Brandon and I immediately ran to a tree in the middle of the field and climbed as high as we could. The moose having completed his mission with my wife, left her and the group shaken but unharmed and turned towards Brandon and I in the tree.

Once again, the moose with antlers flapping side to side, took to the air and flew quickly to our position in the tree. The moose repeated his previous attack on Brandon, tearing the leather jacket from his body. At this point, I am laughing hysterically and feel like I am quite safe since I was not wearing a jacket. However, I mistook the moose’s complete plan, he after removing Brandon’s jacket attacked my hiking boots with a vigor. Jaws and teeth like a horse, oscillated back and forth until my shoes were rendered from my feet. Complete, the moose flew off overhead back into the woods.

I awoke.

Now, amusing as this might be, it is quite troubling on a couple of accounts.

1. My niece is short of 6 months and not yet walking. She was however walking in my dream but appeared to be the same age. Anyway, even though, my helpless niece and wife were being pushed around by a flying moose, I decided to hide in a tree. I guess chivalry truly is dead.

2. Brandon and I chose to hide in a tree when threatened. Now, I wont comment on my cousins intellect, but I hid, in a tree, from a flying moose. Ummm, I cannot comment further.

In conclusion, Glenn the dream analyzer can suggest not to watch too many late night political interviews with Sarah Palin talking about living in Alaska, interspersed with Chick-fil-a commercials of parachuting cows.

My wife has been asking about what to get for my birthday. The truth is that I don’t need anything. If you insist on buying something, here are a few of the items that I have looked at in the past.

General ideas

• Cooking
• Books
• Gardening

Specific ideas

• Pasta Machine, Villaware Imperia Pasta Machine (Linens-n-Things has a good price)
  • Linens-n-Things
• Digital Microscope, ideally one that can be hooked to a computer
  • Something like, EyeClops Bionic Eye
• New big crockpot

Amazon Wish List

Now I am not saying that I needed another orchid, but I just couldn’t resist the opportunity. I only bought six orchids but I must admit that I would have bought 20 if I could imagine a home for them. We just don’t have the space. Well, actually we don’t have the space for the six that I bought. My six orchids cost me a total cost of $12.00 plus tax. I bought new pots for them when I got home and spent $10.00 on the pots and trays. So, for less than $25.00 I have some new friends.

I can’t tell you exactly what makes me like orchids so much. I suppose it is the extreme diversity. I seem to have the same problem with peppers. Here are a couple of pictures of my new little plants. By the way, they looked a lot smaller when I bought them as bare root plants. I was hoping to find a Vanda but they seemed to all be gone by the time I got there. It is probably for the best, they supposedly can get quite large. I would still like to get a Paphiopedilum, a Vanda, a Miltoniopsis and a Brassia or Brassavola. Something to look forward to.